scratchy

Psst...

I am going to let you in on a little secret....

Shhh...

Don't tell, but....

{I have the scratchiest hands and feet on the planet!}

I was putting my kids to bed tonight and I usually rub their tummies or backs while I sing to them.

Not tonight.

My hands are like rough sandpaper.

Seriously.

Earlier tonight I went to get Miss Pink's hairbrush out of a bag she'd been carrying her dolls in (we spent part of the afternoon brushing out all of her doll's hair.  Good thing she's had most of them for over a year and it's the first time we've brushed them...) and the brush snagged on a ribbon that was tied to the handle of the bag.  A long string started to unravel and I tried to get it off the handle of the brush.  This caused a huge problem because my hands then decided to act like a giant piece of Velcro.  Several minutes later I got my hands untangled from the silly thing.

I'm pretty sure that right now (well, maybe not right this instant since I have a huge bottle of lotion sitting next to my keyboard and I just applied some to my hands) I could sand a piece of wood and it would be perfectly smooth.

About my feet.

My heels are in a constant state of callousy scratchiness.

It doesn't matter if it is summer, winter, spring of fall.

They are awful.

I use the foot scratcher every morning in the shower, believe it or not, and it doesn't seem to help.

My feet are just scratchy.

Just ask Mr. Blue.

At night, if he complains that his legs itch I just reach over with my heels and scratch his legs for him.

He doesn't like that very much.

If you ask me, he should be grateful.

So there you have it.

I am scratchy.

unmentionables

I had a wonderful morning.  I spent it at the salon getting a much needed haircut and color.  Maybe now I can post a picture of myself.  Maybe.

If you have issues with the words silk, lace, bra, etc. (you know who you are...) you may stop reading this blog post now.  However, this post will not be too racy.  More of a rant than anything else.

Here goes...

After my wonderful morning I headed to the mall to find a bra.  It has been a really long time since I treated myself to a new bra.  Such a long time that the bras I have now were old when I wore them through my entire pregnancy with Miss Pink.  My brother is getting married in one week so my mom practically ordered me to "find a new bra!"  She even threatened to take me to the bra department herself.  I declined her invitation and told her that I am a big girl now and that I would take care of it myself.

Well today was the day.  I headed to Nordstrom.  I bravely walked to the lingerie department and went straight up to one of the people working in that department.  She gave me the once over and showed me to a fitting room.  A few minutes later she came back with a handful of itty-bitty bras that were "just my size".  I tried them all on, had her look at a few of them, and felt really frustrated.  I put my clothes back on and handed them all over to her.  She said, "I'm sorry you didn't have any luck.  We just don't carry many bras that small.  (insert humiliation right here.  i totally realize that i should still wear a training bra!!!)  You may have better luck at Victoria's Secret."

Hopeful, I walked down the mall to find the bright pink store and headed inside.  It was busy.  Anytime I walk in that store I have thoughts racing through my mind, "What are all of these young teenage BOYS doing in here?  I hope I don't see anybody I know in here.  What on earth is that???"  I decided my best approach would be to grab a bra from every display and head to the dressing room.  With 23 (give or take a few) bras in my hands I found a fitting room.  None of the 23 were a perfect fit.  I even asked the girl working in the fitting room area to help me out.  She went and found me a million more bras.  I tried on every single one.  Guess what happens when you have a totally flat chest?  None of the bras fit.  Seriously. I found two that fit "pretty well" and called it a day.  I don't plan on bra shopping for another million years. UGH!!!!